Call It Even

My parents visited us in Virginia this Christmas. True to form, Mom baked with the grandkids and Dad did fix-it projects around the house. By the time they left yesterday, we had new caulking in all of our bathrooms, a house number drilled above our garage, and a downstairs toilet that filled much more quickly after flushing. Graham and I are not fixer-uppers, but my dad sure is.

For years, I've watched other couples refinish their bathrooms, add a deck onto their homes, rewire lights in their kitchens. And I've lamented that those things are not true of our household. When we have a problem with the plumbing, we join message boards and try to familiarize ourselves with new terminology like backwater valve and refill tube. Once, Graham tried to fix a leaky toilet by installing a new toilet kit. Six hours later, we put a bucket under the commode and called a plumber. The first time we lost heat in our home in Orange, I was sure it was a furnace problem, until our pastor came over, measured the oil in the tank, and pronounced it empty. This stuff is just not intuitive for us.

But then, a few days ago, our computer wouldn't start. A gray screen appeared with the infamous apple icon, and then went black. Without warning, our computer had crashed and I had no back-up for my documents and pictures. But instead of freaking out by this internal operating error, my husband calmly went to Best Buy and bought an external hard drive, then proceeded to transfer our entire operating system onto the drive, "clean" the existing computer, and reinstall all the apps and programs. Wait. What? You see, all the years that I had been slightly embittered over a husband that couldn't build me a kitchen table were years that I forgot to recognize the amazing gifts and talents that he does possess.

This man that I've been married to for a decade this January 1st works hard and provides, loves our kids well, does incredibly kind things for me, and evidently is a computer genius in his spare time.

So, the next time I read a post on Instagram announcing that a friend's husband built her a bench out of 150-year-old salvaged barn wood to go in their front entryway, I'll remember that mine fixed a crashed computer that held our most precious memories, and we'll call it even.

Worthwhile Wednesdays: You Choose

 After several weeks of spotlighting nonprofits I was introduced to at a blogger's conference in October, it is time to choose which one will be receiving the proceeds of my clothing sale earlier this fall. Your job? Comment on this post or on Facebook and cast your vote for one of the following worthy organizations:

1. Sole Hope- This organization's voice is raised for children in Uganda and other sub-saharan African countries who fall prey to jiggers, a sand flea that burrows in the feet and hands. The donations from my clothing sale would go to fund all aspects of the Sole Hope mission, including hygiene and jigger removal clinics, fair wages for shoemakers, and an Outreach House that works with the most devastating jigger cases.

2. Ornaments for Orphans- This organization sells fair trade items with proceeds benefiting orphans in Africa. A gift to O4O benefits Pearl Ministrie, a Christian non-profit corporation dedicated to improving and enriching the lives of Ugandan orphans and children through Gospel-centered and holistic development programs.

 3.  Preemptive Love- This nonprofit organization funds heart surgeries for children in Iraq, where heart defects are remarkably higher than in other countries. Money given helps fund a surgeon's travel expenses to Iraq, pays for supplies, and helps cover the surgery itself.

It's your choice! My clothing sale raised nearly $500. Let me know which organization should receive the money. Vote by Friday at noon!

Lessons from Belgium

The first time I went to Europe, I wore spike-heel boots. Seriously, spiky heels. And we were in Rome. On cobblestone streets. By the end of the first day, I was in tears. Late that night, we found ourselves at a shoe shop buying flat, supportive riding boots. I still have those boots and often think about the painful experience that required their purchase.

Ah, the lessons learned from going to a foreign country. This latest trip was no exception. Graham and I celebrated our ten year anniversary in Brussels and it was absolutely charming, and wonderful, and romantic. Do I wish I had brushed up on my French before we left? Yes. Did I hope to see more museums, pack in more sights? Of course, especially Flanders Field on the Centennial anniversary of WWI. Would I have done the trip any differently? Not a chance.

In looking through pictures and processing our time away, Graham and I are both in agreement on a few suggestions to follow when traveling to Europe:

1. Eat like a local.

If the restaurant is too Americanized, skip it. If the food is too familiar, scratch it. Find yourself at a local pub in the afternoon or a restaurant late at night and make sure you're the only ones speaking English. That's when you know you're on the right track.

On our trip, instead of getting ketchup on our Belgian Frites, we opted for the traditional mayonnaise. Mind you, this was no Hellman's. Belgian mayo is homemade and absolutely divine. Instead of eating our Belgian waffles with powdered sugar and syrup like we might in the states, we chose to eat it plain and got a true taste of perfection, complete with crunchy caramelized edges.

One of my favorite food experiences was heading a few blocks up the street from our hotel in southern Brussels (away from town) to a place called Les Clans des Belge. We showed up at 9 o'clock for dinner and the place was hopping with locals. We ate our most authentic meal that night as Graham chose the canard and I had mussels vin blanc. Another real treat was finding a little Greek restaurant while dining solo one afternoon. The very kind owner walked me through the menu start to finish. I ate octopus there for the first time and it was mild and tender and delicious.

2. Find a church and sit for a spell.

The Catholic churches in Europe are positively breathtaking and you don't have to visit the most famous ones to have a full experience. We walked into a little church just outside of downtown Brussels that had been built in 1635, and marveled. The musky smell of candles burning, the craftsmanship in the artwork, and the simple wooden benches on which to sit were mesmerizing. We rested there for a spell and whispered back and forth about what the four walls of this church must have borne witness to throughout the generations. Plagues and epidemics in the 17th century, the rise and fall of rulers and kingdoms, and world wars abroad, then at home, this little church stands as a place of comfort amidst the fear and loss.

 3. Get lost on a side street.
The art of getting lost in a European city can make for the most enduring memories of the trip. Giving yourself permission to have just a bit of wanderlust allows you to truly experience the location you are visiting. Had we not stepped off the beaten path in Bruges, for instance, we wouldn't have found these charming sites:

4. Bring hair tools that work.

A voltage adapter doesn't help anybody when the curling iron prong doesn't fit the shape. This makes for bad hair days. I speak from experience. Without the use of my curling iron or flat iron, I wore lots of up-do's and thankfully, found a fabulous hat along the way to mask the hair issues. Seriously though, make sure your hair products will work. You can go ahead and thank me in advance.

Worthwhile Wednesdays: Preemptive Love

Over coffee this morning, my husband casually announced, "They're sending contractors to Iraq next year." (Graham works as a contractor for the National Ground Intelligence Center.) "Well, you won't be going," I immediately retorted. For anyone who knows our family, we've seen our fair share of deployments. And after Graham's 2013 tour of Afghanistan, we promised each other those days were over. And they are. 

Watch the evening news any night of the week, and get a glimpse of the chaos in Iraq. The destabilization. The heinous attacks by the self-proclaimed Islamic State. The murder of innocent Christians and Muslims, Shiites and Kurds. Doesn't it all seem hopeless? Yet, Jeremy Courtney, founder of an organization called Preemptive Love, challenges us to find hope in Iraq. Courtney, an American, lives in Iraq with his wife and two children. He moved there as a missionary but after residing in Iraq only a short time, Courtney noticed a large problem among Iraqi children. 

In the last decade, Iraqis report 10x more heart defects at birth than the rest of the world. Many point to mustard gases used during the Hussein regime. It is also possible that foreign weapons made with depleted uranium (DU) can be attributed to health problems not only with Iraqis, but among American and British forces as well.

Hospitals remain understaffed and many doctors lack proper surgical training. While children wait for heart surgeries to repair these defects, they often grow more and more sick. Through Preemptive Love, Courtney is partnering with doctors and healthcare coalitions in the region to make these heart surgeries possible for Iraqi children.

During our blogger's conference, attendees donated enough money to fund 16 heart surgeries! If Preemptive Love is voted as the winner of the proceeds of my clothing sale, we will be able to fund another life saving surgery. Could anything be more worthwhile?

You can follow the Preemptive Love coalition by going to www.preemptivelove.org or following them on Twitter at @preemptivelove.

My Not-So-Secret Hair Secrets

About a month ago, I chopped over six inches off my locks. This is an act that, before becoming a mom or beginning a full-time job, I would have mulled and talked and agonized over. After all, I loved my long hair. I loved that I had multiple "looks" to play with – straightened, curled, fancy knots, ponytail, bun, braid – and tried them over and over for years. Yet, one day in October, I decided that it was time for a change. I didn't bring a picture into the salon, just an idea of a shoulder-length 'do that would work for me. I have loved the results!

Several friends have asked how I get my long, loose curls and I am happy to share my not-so-secret tips! After I got my cut, I read one of my favorite beauty blogs, then ran right out and purchased a few things to achieve the look:

1.  Hot Tools curling iron - This tool is worth all the money in the world. With a 24K gold- plated barrel and a temperature setting up to 430 degrees, my curls are long lasted and glossy. I purchased the 1 1/4 inch version for about $40 and it has been the best curling product I have ever owned. I set my temp to 390, divide my hair into three sections, and curl in 1 inch sections, then separate all the curls with my fingers. No brush needed!

 2. Kenra 25 hairspray - This stuff is the absolute best holding product ever! For a girl who's curls tend to fall before I ever leave the house, my style will stay all day with this spray. Kenra 25 is wind resistant up to 25 mph but doesn't give a helmet head as some laquered hairsprays tend to do. And it smells great. Do yourself a favor and buy or order the big bottle. You'll be glad you did!

If I had more money to invest, I would purchase a good ceramic hair dryer. I'd love to go back to my Pureology shampoo and conditioner someday too (the mint conditioner is the perfect thing to awaken the senses early in the morning). But while I'm busy pinching my pennies, I'll keep restocking my Kenra 25 and using my Hot Tools curling iron faithfully.

Will I ever go back to my long locks? Maybe. But right now, I'm enjoying my mid-length look.

Worthwhile Wednesday: Ornaments 4 Orphans

When I was a child, my family had a few Christmas ornaments on our tree from an aunt and uncle in Hawaii. Made of husks and wood instead of glass and bows, they captured my attention and I spent time wondering who would make such unusual things. Flash forward 25 years when I was introduced to an organization called Ornaments 4 Orphans at a blogger's conference last month in Greenville, SC. With similar distinction, these handmade pieces have a story, but unlike the ornaments on my childhood Christmas tree, these stories can be traced all the way back to the artisans who make them.

Ornaments for Orphans (O4O) sells fair trade, handcrafted items made in impoverished communities in Uganda to benefit orphans and at-risk children in the same country. The benefits of buying an ornament or other handmade piece from this company are three-fold:

1. You help the artisan who makes the ornament.

2. You help the child who receives the proceeds from the ornament.

3. You benefit the community of both artisan and child as more people are released from the heavy hand of poverty and hopelessness. 

You can find out more about O4O and shop their items here or follow them on Twitter @o4orphans. 

I got the MOST beautiful African dolls for my girls for Christmas, each dressed in authentic Ugandan fabric carrying a baby in a sling on the doll's back. Also, the Nativity scenes on the website are so, so beautiful!

As you put up your trees this holiday season, I encourage you to buy an ornament from O4O and hang it on your branches. If your children are anything like the kid version of me, they will notice that it looks different from other bright balls, delicate ornaments, and twinkling lights, and you may have an opportunity to share with them a bit about where it came from and who it benefits. And if that spans the reach of hope just one home further, then everyone receives the blessing this Christmas.

*Remember that Ornaments 4 Orphans is now one of my featured nonprofits that may benefit from the proceeds of my clothing sale. A worthwhile organization indeed!*

My People

Two days ago, four mamas stepped away from the hustle and bustle of home and family life to enjoy an afternoon together. We celebrated a birthday with champagne and clove-infused pecans, then took to downtown Fredericksburg for a ladies lunch and holiday shopping. And somewhere between the oohs and aahs over a perfect birthday gift, and the giggles-turned-to-snorting at lunch, and the serious conversations about motherhood on the drive home, I realized something. These are my people. The ones who lean in, laugh loud, and love big.

My people make time for each other. We recognize that on the surface, there is no real time for this at all. And then we make the decision to carve it out of our schedules and do it anyway. 

My people lean on each other. We're raising our kids together. We've faced loss together. We're givivg back together. 

My people can go deep into each other's hurts one minute, and be talking about makeup and hair and glute exercises the next.

My people do a re-take if someone isn't happy with a picture because we understand that a girl's got to look her best, and we are committed to never being in each other's presence without making the other feel fabulous.

There is no room for competition with my people.

My people celebrate life together. So whether it's a birthday, or a holiday, or a perfectly ordinary day, my people are there to extend a hand, lift each other up, and say, "I think what you're doing with your life is amazing."

Worthwhile Wednesdays: Sole Hope

Remember me telling you that the bloggers conference I went to last month had so many worthwhile sponsors? We walked from table to table, hearing stories and gathering information, so that, as writers, we could DO something–blog, give, share, go. I came home from Allume, so overwhelmed by all the things I couldn't do, that I temporarily forgot about that things I could. Girl, Boy, Girl's "Worthwhile Wednesdays" was born out of that movement.

Sole Hope is an organization I have heard some chatter about over the last year or so. The abbreviated story is this: An American couple with young children were pursuing their careers when they came across a You Tube video about jiggers,  sub saharan sand fleas that live in the dirt floors in many schools and homes in Uganda and other similar climates. The jiggers burrow into exposed feet, lay eggs, and multiply, causing great pain and making it difficult to walk, play, or attend school. There is a social stigma around jiggers, leading victims to hide the problem, only making it worse.

When the Collie family realized that the common sense solution was to put closed toed shoes on children so the jiggers couldn't burrow, Sole Hope was founded. This organization is improving the lives of people throughout Uganda by doing something as simple as making shoes, and we can help in a practical way!

Hosting a shoe cutting party for a your friends and family during the holidays is a great excuse to have a big ol' crowd over to your house AND give back meaningfully. You purchase a kit for $15, invite ten friends over to your home (children can do this too!), and ask all your guests to bring a pair of old jeans, some fabric scissors, and $10. 

                                                                                                        (Photography by Kim DeLoach)

Pack your party with snacks and goodies around a Thanksgiving table or Christmas tree and voila! In no time, you've cut out patterns to be sent to Africa where a tailor will cobble them into shoes ($10 from guests will pay for shipping and fair labor wages for the tailors). I will be ordering a kit for my family to use at Thanksgiving and. . .I'll be ordering an extra kit to give away! Post a comment about Sole Hope on my blog or on Facebook and be entered to win. I'll pick a winner this Friday 11/14 at noon and will get your kit ordered and sent.

Also, remember that Sole Hope is now one of the featured organizations who may receive the profits from my Clothing and Accessories Sale this Saturday, 11/15. Worthwhile Wednesdays will continue through early December after which time, I'll be asking for you to vote for which organization will receive the proceeds of the sale.  

You can follow Sole Hope on Instagram at #solehope or on their blog, www.solehope.org/blog. 

Now, go plan a shoe cutting party!

A Hiatus, A Conference, and a Cause

So, I sorta took a hiatus from blogging for a few weeks. Or six. Seriously, not posting on your website for six weeks is likened to blogger suicide in the online world. Who will continue to follow me? Where will my base go? How will I re-introduce myself?

All these questions and more were asked and answered at a recent blogger's conference I attended in Greenville, SC called Allume. (And so as not to complettely throw myself under the bus, I am writing more than ever, just now in a full-time career!) Allume was an amazing gathering of Christian writers and bloggers who use their conference time to reflect, re-energize, and goal plan for the year ahead.

I learned about Allume from my best friend who, with self-deprecating humor, will tell you she's not a blogger. In truth, she has an amazing story and tells it through ministry and music.

She's lives in Greenville and was on the leadership team for the weekend, making each of our days super busy, but rewarding. P.S., you do NOT have to be a "writer " to find this conference completely fantastic. Everything she told me about Allume was true:

• There are some absolutely incredible women who attend, from bloggers just getting started, to published authors, to worthy non-profit sponsors.

• The sessions are top-notch, inspiring attendees to make positive life changes.

(Kim Deloach Photography)

• The non-profit organizations who sponsor the event are truly amazing, many times founded by ordinary men and women who saw a need, and wanted to make a difference.

So as I reintroduce and commit myself to regular blogging again, I want to let you know about a few things I'll be doing in the next weeks and months:


1. Each week between now and mid-December, I'll be featuring a non-profit organization on my blog that I was introduced to at Allume. I'll be calling my features, "Worthwhile Wednesdays" where my readers will be given an opportunity to learn about many life-changing organizations.  Seriously, you will be inspired by what these people are doing.

2. This Saturday, November 15th, I'll be holding my 2nd Clothing and Accessories Sale on Instagram. You can follow me @mollycrouch on Saturday morning as I post my items. Similar to what I did in the spring, the proceeds of my sale will be sent to a non-profit organization. Last time, you helped me raise almost $1000 for Sparrow Missions (the missionary group I traveled with to Honduras this summer). This time, I'll let YOU decide where the money will go. After I feature all the non-profits, I'll ask you to vote for your favorite featured organization. The organization who receives the most votes will receive the profits from my sale.

3.  As I move forward with my blog, I may be changing domains. Many of you have asked how you can "follow" me and sign-up for post alerts. I will be looking into a few strategic changes (maybe even a name change), to make my blog more accessible, easily readable, and simpler to navigate. Stay tuned! And thanks for reading!

A Letter to my Daughters

It has been difficult for your father and I to hide the events of the last two weeks from you.  How could we?  It has hit too close to home.  We are beyond our comfort zone.  We see the news cameras.  We witness the search teams, canvassing the streets. Out of the corners of our eyes, we scan the woods on walking trails behind our neighborhood.  There is a missing girl. . . There are too many missing girls.  And so I want to tell you some things.  Some things your dad and I plan to talk about with you a lot in the coming years.  Some bits of advice that we want you to process and not just hear.  Because we believe it could save your life.

Maddox and Harper, choose friends who will love you well.  Those girlfriends who will be real with you.  Who will be honest.  Choose friends who won't let you out of their sight at a college party.  Who find it unacceptable for you to leave with a stranger.  Or by yourself.  Your mom had some amazing college friends.  They loved me on a Saturday night just as much as they loved me on a Tuesday morning.  They motivated me.  Challenged me.  Kept me company.  Protected me.  Choose friends who will find you when you're lost.  When you're alone.  Choose wisely, girls.  And then be the friend you should be too.

I want to tell you to use your head.  Your dad has served our country for over a decade, has deployed multiple times, has shot any number of guns and artillery.  But do you know what he says is the most effective weapon?  Little ladies, Daddy says your mind is your greatest defense.  Your mind can guide thoughts.  It can exercise judgement.  And yes, it can get you out of sticky situations.  So use your head.  Be in control of yourself at all times.  Abusing substances that will lessen the power of your greatest weapon is likened to not taking your ammunition with you in a battle.  Use your head and make the seemingly unavoidable, avoidable.

Sweet girls, remember that there is a lot of good in this world.  Do not be driven by fear.  Do not give in to chaos.  This week, we've heard about one bad person.  But for that one, there are thousands of good.  Like the men and women in the yellow vests, who crawl into Charlottesville City dumpsters, walk along railroad tracks, go down deep ravines.  Searching.  They, like your dad and I, may have daughters.  They may know a college student.  Or they may just want to help.  As a wise man once said, look for the helpers.  Girls, this world is a good place.  There is still hope here.  There is still good here.  There is still life here.  And God still reigns here.

Daddy and I love you,

Mommy

Trading Spaces

Remember that decorating show on TLC, circa 1998?  It was called Trading Spaces and in my mind, it was one of the first reality shows on that network, right behind A Wedding Story.  The premise was this: Two couples traded houses for a few days and with the help of a designer, totally transformed one room in the home in need of an update.  Well, I certainly don't have a designer and no one else is doing the work for me, but I do feel like a large majority of our home needed some decorating love after we moved in.  No gutting or heavy renovation mind you, but like Trading Spaces, it required a definite swap from one look to another.

Our first project was painting nearly every square foot of the house.  Then, room by room, I tackled decorating projects.  I got inspiration from many sources- Pinterest, of course, but also Houzz, Design Sponge, Nate Berkus books, Pottery Barn and Ballard Design catalogs, and a few of my favorite local gems- Shabby Love, Calico Home, and The Market at Grelen. 

One of the first rooms I overhauled was the front office.  Initially, we didn't know how we would use the space.  A toy room for the kids, a sitting room, a den perhaps?  But after becoming inspired by a beautiful desk from Ballard, I knew we needed to proceed with an office.  Here is the before of the space:

. . . And here is the After! 

I wanted a blue gray wall to pop against my white desk.  I love the desk because it seats two people on either end to enable simultaneous work.  I found the carpet on Overstock.com.  The buffalo check curtains I saw on a blog and dug around to locate the source.  I ordered them extra long to fill up more of the space on the high wall.  The oil painting is a family heirloom we cherish painted by Graham's grandmother.  The chair is from Shabby Love. 

I love decorating with birds and wanted to play off of these little cuties found in the garden shop at The Market at Grelen, so with them in hand, I went to my favorite Charlottesville fabric store and found two complimenting patterns!

The next step is to have two wingback chairs recovered with the fabrics, perhaps in a collage look?  The chairs will tuck into the corners of the office in hopes that they'll become a perfect reading spot for our family. 

As I write this post in our updated room, I'm pleased to say I wouldn't trade this space for anything!