Think Warm Thoughts

Even before the first snowfall last week, my college roommate, Amy, and I were already talking about a weekend getaway this spring. We took our first annual "Roomie" trip in 2014, meeting up for a weekend at the Greenbrier last February. As wonderful and pampering as that was, Amy and I thought we needed more warmth this year than the mountains in West Virginia could provide. After lots of conversations, we landed on Wilmington, NC—an easy drive for me and a location far enough south to enjoy the beach in early May.

In hopes for a day on the sand—and to ward off the winter blues—I spent a few hours yesterday looking for a new bathing suit for our trip. I learned quickly that some of my go-to swimwear companies and stores of my 20's (Target, Victoria's Secret, Roxy) are no longer viable options in my 30's. Let's be real, I've had three children—two of them at once—and things have. . . shifted. After a few hours of online searching (the only way to shop for swimwear in my opinion), I walked away with two suits and a few rules for us 30-somethings.

1. Take calculated risks

There is no sense showing it all only to be self-conscious and miserable. There is also little sense in completely covering up! Just remember that the body you perceive to be flawed at 30-something, will be the body you are coveting at 50-something! As mamas, these stretch marks and new curves speak to the lives we've carried. That's something to celebrate. The key is finding the swimwear to help you do it.

 This sassy red number from JCrew gives great coverage in the tummy and back, yet accentuates the bust. Love that it's lined too.

 Another JCrew number, I am always a fan of strapless in the summertime and like the colorblock print. And the cutout sides make this suit look like a bikini from the back while allowing for coverage in the front.

I am in love with the longline bikini tops this year. I have a large rib cage making bikini tops look less flattering on me, but the longline like this from Anthropologie solves the problem and gives a little more coverage.

2. Try something new

 The pin-up look is definitely back and even Taylor Swift is getting in on the action. I love the idea of a high-waist bottom IF it has something else going on (piping, ruching, etc). Otherwise, what seems like a great option to hide any tummy issues will end up accentuating them.

 Each of the suits above were found on Etsy. Aren't they adorable?!

I LOVE this option as a variation from the tired-out tankini look. This peplum number is from Anthropologie and can be worn with or without the straps.

3. Go for color

The tendency is to wear dark swimwear colors, but I challenge you to go for color! Just be careful that your choice don't scream "teenager." Try a bright tribal print, check out sophisticated looks from designers like Trina Turk, or opt for a beautiful bright solid.

I have this maillot from JCrew in gray, but would order it in green if I could do it over again.

4. Don't give in to trends.

Just a few final words that may help you make some buying decisions, 30-somethings. Take them or leave them!

 I have outgrown the flounce tops, friends, since this reminds me of a bib I would put on a 6-month-old.

 

Many a swimsuit designer would like you to believe that you too can wear the strappy-side bikini bottom. But unless those hips have seen a gym every day for the last six months, your skin will only want to squeeze through those ladder lines and find the light of day. Not the look you want.

Hope this is helpful. Stay warm, friends! Happy swimsuit shopping!

Bonus

Sometimes life throws you a curveball and sometimes it hands you a bonus.

Military deployments? Curveball. Reunion vacations? Bonus.

Job loss? Curveball. New opportunities? Bonus.

Moving far away from friends and family? Curveball. Meeting people you can't imagine life without? Bonus.

When I really put some thought into it, I've been given a lot of bonuses. Bet you have too. One of those whom I think about today is my sister-in-law, Erin. Today is Erin's birthday. And that girl is a gift to so many. But there were more than a few curveballs that made it possible for her to be in her brother's life, and therefore, in mine. A series of events, some of which are tragic, brought two little families together and enlarged an extended family to weave a common thread of love. Were there curveballs? A few. Bonuses? Too many to count.

Today's birthday girl and I lived nearby for several years and were able to see each other often. Our kids are close in age. We've shared stories of motherhood and toddlerhood, joys and hardships, shenanigans and serious stuff.

In one of life's biggest curveballs—the loss of a pregnancy—she was there. She stayed with Maddox one clear January morning while Graham and I went to the hospital to do the hard work of saying goodbye to a baby. When we came home late that night, tired and emotionally drained, her love was big. And in one of life's most extravagant bonuses just weeks later—the news of Henry and Harper—she was there. When it was time to find out the twins' gender, Erin went with me to the doctor's appointment because her brother—my husband—was in Afghanistan. Her calming presence was a gift I don't think she fully understood.

On this, her birthday, I hope my sister knows how much she is loved. By her parents, her siblings, and her friends. I hope she realizes how wonderful Chris and the boys think she is—how influential and important she is to them. And in this life full of curveballs, I hope she understands what a bonus she is to her brother and me.

We love you, E!