Call It Even

My parents visited us in Virginia this Christmas. True to form, Mom baked with the grandkids and Dad did fix-it projects around the house. By the time they left yesterday, we had new caulking in all of our bathrooms, a house number drilled above our garage, and a downstairs toilet that filled much more quickly after flushing. Graham and I are not fixer-uppers, but my dad sure is.

For years, I've watched other couples refinish their bathrooms, add a deck onto their homes, rewire lights in their kitchens. And I've lamented that those things are not true of our household. When we have a problem with the plumbing, we join message boards and try to familiarize ourselves with new terminology like backwater valve and refill tube. Once, Graham tried to fix a leaky toilet by installing a new toilet kit. Six hours later, we put a bucket under the commode and called a plumber. The first time we lost heat in our home in Orange, I was sure it was a furnace problem, until our pastor came over, measured the oil in the tank, and pronounced it empty. This stuff is just not intuitive for us.

But then, a few days ago, our computer wouldn't start. A gray screen appeared with the infamous apple icon, and then went black. Without warning, our computer had crashed and I had no back-up for my documents and pictures. But instead of freaking out by this internal operating error, my husband calmly went to Best Buy and bought an external hard drive, then proceeded to transfer our entire operating system onto the drive, "clean" the existing computer, and reinstall all the apps and programs. Wait. What? You see, all the years that I had been slightly embittered over a husband that couldn't build me a kitchen table were years that I forgot to recognize the amazing gifts and talents that he does possess.

This man that I've been married to for a decade this January 1st works hard and provides, loves our kids well, does incredibly kind things for me, and evidently is a computer genius in his spare time.

So, the next time I read a post on Instagram announcing that a friend's husband built her a bench out of 150-year-old salvaged barn wood to go in their front entryway, I'll remember that mine fixed a crashed computer that held our most precious memories, and we'll call it even.

Worthwhile Wednesdays: You Choose

 After several weeks of spotlighting nonprofits I was introduced to at a blogger's conference in October, it is time to choose which one will be receiving the proceeds of my clothing sale earlier this fall. Your job? Comment on this post or on Facebook and cast your vote for one of the following worthy organizations:

1. Sole Hope- This organization's voice is raised for children in Uganda and other sub-saharan African countries who fall prey to jiggers, a sand flea that burrows in the feet and hands. The donations from my clothing sale would go to fund all aspects of the Sole Hope mission, including hygiene and jigger removal clinics, fair wages for shoemakers, and an Outreach House that works with the most devastating jigger cases.

2. Ornaments for Orphans- This organization sells fair trade items with proceeds benefiting orphans in Africa. A gift to O4O benefits Pearl Ministrie, a Christian non-profit corporation dedicated to improving and enriching the lives of Ugandan orphans and children through Gospel-centered and holistic development programs.

 3.  Preemptive Love- This nonprofit organization funds heart surgeries for children in Iraq, where heart defects are remarkably higher than in other countries. Money given helps fund a surgeon's travel expenses to Iraq, pays for supplies, and helps cover the surgery itself.

It's your choice! My clothing sale raised nearly $500. Let me know which organization should receive the money. Vote by Friday at noon!

Lessons from Belgium

The first time I went to Europe, I wore spike-heel boots. Seriously, spiky heels. And we were in Rome. On cobblestone streets. By the end of the first day, I was in tears. Late that night, we found ourselves at a shoe shop buying flat, supportive riding boots. I still have those boots and often think about the painful experience that required their purchase.

Ah, the lessons learned from going to a foreign country. This latest trip was no exception. Graham and I celebrated our ten year anniversary in Brussels and it was absolutely charming, and wonderful, and romantic. Do I wish I had brushed up on my French before we left? Yes. Did I hope to see more museums, pack in more sights? Of course, especially Flanders Field on the Centennial anniversary of WWI. Would I have done the trip any differently? Not a chance.

In looking through pictures and processing our time away, Graham and I are both in agreement on a few suggestions to follow when traveling to Europe:

1. Eat like a local.

If the restaurant is too Americanized, skip it. If the food is too familiar, scratch it. Find yourself at a local pub in the afternoon or a restaurant late at night and make sure you're the only ones speaking English. That's when you know you're on the right track.

On our trip, instead of getting ketchup on our Belgian Frites, we opted for the traditional mayonnaise. Mind you, this was no Hellman's. Belgian mayo is homemade and absolutely divine. Instead of eating our Belgian waffles with powdered sugar and syrup like we might in the states, we chose to eat it plain and got a true taste of perfection, complete with crunchy caramelized edges.

One of my favorite food experiences was heading a few blocks up the street from our hotel in southern Brussels (away from town) to a place called Les Clans des Belge. We showed up at 9 o'clock for dinner and the place was hopping with locals. We ate our most authentic meal that night as Graham chose the canard and I had mussels vin blanc. Another real treat was finding a little Greek restaurant while dining solo one afternoon. The very kind owner walked me through the menu start to finish. I ate octopus there for the first time and it was mild and tender and delicious.

2. Find a church and sit for a spell.

The Catholic churches in Europe are positively breathtaking and you don't have to visit the most famous ones to have a full experience. We walked into a little church just outside of downtown Brussels that had been built in 1635, and marveled. The musky smell of candles burning, the craftsmanship in the artwork, and the simple wooden benches on which to sit were mesmerizing. We rested there for a spell and whispered back and forth about what the four walls of this church must have borne witness to throughout the generations. Plagues and epidemics in the 17th century, the rise and fall of rulers and kingdoms, and world wars abroad, then at home, this little church stands as a place of comfort amidst the fear and loss.

 3. Get lost on a side street.
The art of getting lost in a European city can make for the most enduring memories of the trip. Giving yourself permission to have just a bit of wanderlust allows you to truly experience the location you are visiting. Had we not stepped off the beaten path in Bruges, for instance, we wouldn't have found these charming sites:

4. Bring hair tools that work.

A voltage adapter doesn't help anybody when the curling iron prong doesn't fit the shape. This makes for bad hair days. I speak from experience. Without the use of my curling iron or flat iron, I wore lots of up-do's and thankfully, found a fabulous hat along the way to mask the hair issues. Seriously though, make sure your hair products will work. You can go ahead and thank me in advance.

Worthwhile Wednesdays: Preemptive Love

Over coffee this morning, my husband casually announced, "They're sending contractors to Iraq next year." (Graham works as a contractor for the National Ground Intelligence Center.) "Well, you won't be going," I immediately retorted. For anyone who knows our family, we've seen our fair share of deployments. And after Graham's 2013 tour of Afghanistan, we promised each other those days were over. And they are. 

Watch the evening news any night of the week, and get a glimpse of the chaos in Iraq. The destabilization. The heinous attacks by the self-proclaimed Islamic State. The murder of innocent Christians and Muslims, Shiites and Kurds. Doesn't it all seem hopeless? Yet, Jeremy Courtney, founder of an organization called Preemptive Love, challenges us to find hope in Iraq. Courtney, an American, lives in Iraq with his wife and two children. He moved there as a missionary but after residing in Iraq only a short time, Courtney noticed a large problem among Iraqi children. 

In the last decade, Iraqis report 10x more heart defects at birth than the rest of the world. Many point to mustard gases used during the Hussein regime. It is also possible that foreign weapons made with depleted uranium (DU) can be attributed to health problems not only with Iraqis, but among American and British forces as well.

Hospitals remain understaffed and many doctors lack proper surgical training. While children wait for heart surgeries to repair these defects, they often grow more and more sick. Through Preemptive Love, Courtney is partnering with doctors and healthcare coalitions in the region to make these heart surgeries possible for Iraqi children.

During our blogger's conference, attendees donated enough money to fund 16 heart surgeries! If Preemptive Love is voted as the winner of the proceeds of my clothing sale, we will be able to fund another life saving surgery. Could anything be more worthwhile?

You can follow the Preemptive Love coalition by going to www.preemptivelove.org or following them on Twitter at @preemptivelove.

My Not-So-Secret Hair Secrets

About a month ago, I chopped over six inches off my locks. This is an act that, before becoming a mom or beginning a full-time job, I would have mulled and talked and agonized over. After all, I loved my long hair. I loved that I had multiple "looks" to play with – straightened, curled, fancy knots, ponytail, bun, braid – and tried them over and over for years. Yet, one day in October, I decided that it was time for a change. I didn't bring a picture into the salon, just an idea of a shoulder-length 'do that would work for me. I have loved the results!

Several friends have asked how I get my long, loose curls and I am happy to share my not-so-secret tips! After I got my cut, I read one of my favorite beauty blogs, then ran right out and purchased a few things to achieve the look:

1.  Hot Tools curling iron - This tool is worth all the money in the world. With a 24K gold- plated barrel and a temperature setting up to 430 degrees, my curls are long lasted and glossy. I purchased the 1 1/4 inch version for about $40 and it has been the best curling product I have ever owned. I set my temp to 390, divide my hair into three sections, and curl in 1 inch sections, then separate all the curls with my fingers. No brush needed!

 2. Kenra 25 hairspray - This stuff is the absolute best holding product ever! For a girl who's curls tend to fall before I ever leave the house, my style will stay all day with this spray. Kenra 25 is wind resistant up to 25 mph but doesn't give a helmet head as some laquered hairsprays tend to do. And it smells great. Do yourself a favor and buy or order the big bottle. You'll be glad you did!

If I had more money to invest, I would purchase a good ceramic hair dryer. I'd love to go back to my Pureology shampoo and conditioner someday too (the mint conditioner is the perfect thing to awaken the senses early in the morning). But while I'm busy pinching my pennies, I'll keep restocking my Kenra 25 and using my Hot Tools curling iron faithfully.

Will I ever go back to my long locks? Maybe. But right now, I'm enjoying my mid-length look.

Worthwhile Wednesday: Ornaments 4 Orphans

When I was a child, my family had a few Christmas ornaments on our tree from an aunt and uncle in Hawaii. Made of husks and wood instead of glass and bows, they captured my attention and I spent time wondering who would make such unusual things. Flash forward 25 years when I was introduced to an organization called Ornaments 4 Orphans at a blogger's conference last month in Greenville, SC. With similar distinction, these handmade pieces have a story, but unlike the ornaments on my childhood Christmas tree, these stories can be traced all the way back to the artisans who make them.

Ornaments for Orphans (O4O) sells fair trade, handcrafted items made in impoverished communities in Uganda to benefit orphans and at-risk children in the same country. The benefits of buying an ornament or other handmade piece from this company are three-fold:

1. You help the artisan who makes the ornament.

2. You help the child who receives the proceeds from the ornament.

3. You benefit the community of both artisan and child as more people are released from the heavy hand of poverty and hopelessness. 

You can find out more about O4O and shop their items here or follow them on Twitter @o4orphans. 

I got the MOST beautiful African dolls for my girls for Christmas, each dressed in authentic Ugandan fabric carrying a baby in a sling on the doll's back. Also, the Nativity scenes on the website are so, so beautiful!

As you put up your trees this holiday season, I encourage you to buy an ornament from O4O and hang it on your branches. If your children are anything like the kid version of me, they will notice that it looks different from other bright balls, delicate ornaments, and twinkling lights, and you may have an opportunity to share with them a bit about where it came from and who it benefits. And if that spans the reach of hope just one home further, then everyone receives the blessing this Christmas.

*Remember that Ornaments 4 Orphans is now one of my featured nonprofits that may benefit from the proceeds of my clothing sale. A worthwhile organization indeed!*

My People

Two days ago, four mamas stepped away from the hustle and bustle of home and family life to enjoy an afternoon together. We celebrated a birthday with champagne and clove-infused pecans, then took to downtown Fredericksburg for a ladies lunch and holiday shopping. And somewhere between the oohs and aahs over a perfect birthday gift, and the giggles-turned-to-snorting at lunch, and the serious conversations about motherhood on the drive home, I realized something. These are my people. The ones who lean in, laugh loud, and love big.

My people make time for each other. We recognize that on the surface, there is no real time for this at all. And then we make the decision to carve it out of our schedules and do it anyway. 

My people lean on each other. We're raising our kids together. We've faced loss together. We're givivg back together. 

My people can go deep into each other's hurts one minute, and be talking about makeup and hair and glute exercises the next.

My people do a re-take if someone isn't happy with a picture because we understand that a girl's got to look her best, and we are committed to never being in each other's presence without making the other feel fabulous.

There is no room for competition with my people.

My people celebrate life together. So whether it's a birthday, or a holiday, or a perfectly ordinary day, my people are there to extend a hand, lift each other up, and say, "I think what you're doing with your life is amazing."