Notes to New Mamas

Now that I'm in my 30's, I'm spending less time attending weddings and more time meeting babies.  This weekend, I was tickled to catch up with some dear college girlfriends and get to know the newest additions in their lives.  As I watched these mamas with their little ones and listened to their shared experiences of sleepless nights, soiled clothes, and feeding mishaps, I was reminded of how much we need to lean on each other during the early years of motherhood.  Flying back to Virginia last night, I wrote down a few survival strategies for those tough days:

• Pray over your day.  And do it in the morning.  Even if you've only gotten three hours of sleep.  Prayers are like spiritual caffeine and if I can turn the day over in the first hour of wakefulness, I can make it through.  Pray for your children, pray for patience, pray to find encouragement through a friend, your husband, a book.  Pray for grace and then remember to extend it to your children.  From personal experience, I can tell you that praying in the mornings makes the "I've Messed Up" prayer easier to say in the afternoons.  Open the dialogue and go for it.
• Live fully in the moment.  Even when the moment is jacked up.  When the baby poops on your work clothes on your way out the door.  When the six week-old cries for everyone else but you and you feel a little trapped.  When big brother or sister wants your attention but can't fully have it Right. At. That. Moment.  Try to remember that it passes so quickly and she won't just lie still in your arms again and stare at you for thirty minutes when she's 3.  Embrace it now.  Don't wish it away too soon.  Psalm 31:7-8 says, "I will be glad and rejoice in your mercy, for you have considered my trouble. . . you have set my feet in a spacious place."  When life with an infant is as off-balance as it gets, put your feet in that spacious place and be steadied.
• Take time for yourself.  When you are a nursing mama, it may be finding a two hour window for a dinner out with friends.  That is taking time for yourself.  When you've seen your husband everyday, but haven't connected for weeks, it may be a date.  When you still have maternity clothes in your closet that HAVE GOT TO GO, it may be a day trip shopping for some great pieces that work beautifully on you.  For me, time for myself was this weekend with friends in Kentucky.  It was totally refreshing and snuggling with my babies this morning became even sweeter. 
• Celebrate each small step.  One more hour of sleep at night.  A pound lost.  A dinner prepared.  A day with no mama tears.  Okay, okay, a day with only one or two mom cries.  A birthday celebration for a lively toddler in the midst of it all.  A dinner out with girlfriends.  Every step is progress.  Celebrate it and then encourage another mom who may be a few steps back.  Because there is joy in the journey and a lot of light on the other side.

Caroline Conn.  Don't you just think she is ready for the ballet?

Grayson Piatt and mama Hallie.  Doesn't mom look amazing?

Laney Boatman with mom-in-pink, Nancy, along with two other new mamas, Hallie and Amy.

Brooklyn Keltner.  Can we keep those cheeks forever?

Some lovely ladies in all stages of motherhood, out for dinner.

I fell hard for this little guy, celebrating his 2nd birthday today!  Happy birthday, Andrew!

Fun with Milk's Favorite Cookie

I had the following challenges this morning:
1.  A quick dish needed for a monthly supper club my family was attending tonight.
2.  A box of Oreo cookies I had bought for another recipe but couldn't use because my food processor has officially gone kaput.
3.  Bored kids that needed a project and a purpose!

Hence, our version of Oreo pudding was born.  The web is literally full of recipes for America's Favorite Cookie, but the one that caught my eye incorporated cream cheese, another fridge item that I hadn't found a use for after I purchased it last week.  So, we went with that one.  The kids loved crushing the cookies with the rolling pin.  I loved getting the Oreos out of my house before I ate them all.  And I think my supper club pals would tell you that the pudding was a homerun! 

Oreo Layer Dessert

1 pkg of regular Oreos

1/2 c. of butter

1 lg box of instant chocolate or oreo pudding

2-8 oz cool whips

8 oz. of cream cheese, softened

1 c. powdered sugar

Crush the whole package of cookies either with a food processor, or in a bag with a rolling pin.  Save half of the crushed mix to sprinkle on top of dessert at the end.  Pour remaining crumbs in a 13x9 pan.  Melt butter and pour into crumb mix.  Press crumbs in bottom of pan with a fork to make a crust and then transfer to fridge to set.  Meanwhile, in a mixing bowl blend cream cheese for 2-3 minutes until light and fluffy, add powdered sugar and mix for a minute more.  Finally, fold 8 oz of cool whip into the cream cheese mixture.  In a separate bowl, make pudding according to package directions.  Top oreo layer with cream cheese mix, then pudding, and finally your last 8 oz container of cool whip.  Sprinkle remaining Oreo's on top.  Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours until ready to serve. 

Enjoy!

The Story

I want to tell you a story. 

This story is about a little boy named Kenneth Christ who was born in Round Lake, Minnesota, just three short years before the start of the Great Depression.  His mother intended to call him Ken, but his ornery father aimed to call him George, and the name stuck throughout his entire childhood.

This little boy grew up and left home and joined the Navy and got on a ship to see if he could lend a hand in solving a world war.  Upon returning home, he met a girl working in a department store and they began a love and a life that would go on for fifty-one years.

This is about a devoted husband and earnest worker who started out small as a salesman for Sather Cookie Company while supporting three young children.

And this is about a man whose tenacity and entrepreneurial spirit led his family to Kentucky in 1979 to start a grocery business, now with six children in all.

In this tale, the man wisely began training up his children in the early years of the business and surrounded himself with dedicated managers and loyal employees because he understood when President Ronald Reagan said, “Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don’t interfere as long as the policy you’ve decided upon is being carried out.”

The story continues with a grandfather who took great delight and pride in a household of noisy grandkids; who would open up the backyard pool every June and invite the grands to come splash around, and in the colder months would sit in his favorite recliner and ask you to “Come over here and give Grandpa a hug.”

This is a story of thoughtfulness.  About fresh flowers on Grandma’s kitchen counter every week and about the simple pleasure of a fried chicken dinner from the deli at Ken’s split between husband and wife.

This story is about forgiveness.  Extending it.  Asking for it.  And encouraging others to do the same.  Because this man echoed Mahatma Gandhi when he said, “The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”

This story is one of faith.  A faith that grew more in his old age because he believed the Scripture that said, “The glory of this latter house shall be greater than that of the former” (Haggai 2:9), until he was able to stand firm in his faith and invited others in his family to do the same. 

This tale is one of a gentleman who took a lady out dancing thirteen years ago and swept her off her feet.  It’s about new beginnings and fresh starts.

This story is about a person who re-defined retirement.  Who traveled, was out the door by eight o’clock every morning for a round of golf, finished crossword puzzles, organized family reunions, followed basketball.  Who attended the weddings of his grandchildren, bounced great-grandchildren on his knee, and still found time to visit his beloved grocery stores several times a week.

This story is about courage as the man’s body began to fail him.  It’s about bravery and determination to keep going to therapy, keep fighting from the hospital bed, keep working on putting one foot in front of the other so that late last fall he was even able to stand on a putting green and hit a few balls.

And finally, this story is about death on his own terms.  Without months away from home, without weeks of suffering, without days of waiting for the end to come, but rather in his sleep, peacefully, surrounded by his adoring family.

And yet as wonderful as this story is, I don’t believe it’s the end.  In fact, it may only be the beginning.  In the final book of The Chronicles of Narnia entitled “The Last Battle”, C.S. Lewis says this:

As Aslan spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them.  And for us this is the end of all stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after.  But for them it was only the beginning of the real story.  All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read; which goes on forever; in which every chapter is better than the one before.

A Weekend in Pictures

While we wait for a half foot of snow to begin falling this morning, my family is still smiling and chattering about our weekend together.  Some moments were quite eventful (everyone boarded a train to DC yesterday to learn about and celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr) and other moments of it were perfectly normal, quiet, and reflective.  I consciously captured as much as I could in photographs so we could remember that both the ordinary and the extraordinary make up the whole picture.

 There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. 

-Ruth Stout

 

The ache of home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

-Maya Angelou 

I have decided to stick with love.  

Hate is too great a burden to bear. 

-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

An Honor

  

It has been almost five years since we called ourselves a "military family".  That life had many challenges but also rewarded us with wonderful friends, a journey to the gorgeous Pacific Northwest (which we loved), and a new definition of "home".  I am grateful for the experience and the pride I have in our armed services because we know so many people who sacrifice daily.  But a trip to Arlington National Cemetery on Saturday amplified my gratitude for the freedom we enjoy.  This quiet respite just across the Potomac River from our nation's capital was so peaceful and beautiful after a recent snowfall.  It was amazing to see that each and every grave was marked with a live Christmas wreath, a tribute to those who lost their lives in combat since WWI, and a reminder that each one is still being honored today.

The most impressive sight was the Tomb of the Unknowns (aka Tomb of the Unknown Soldier).  To have only experienced the sight on television as a president lays a wreath on Memorial Day is to believe that it is just another marble slab among many in D.C..  In truth, The Tomb is on the most scenic hill and it is absolutely silent except for the occasional bird overhead and the click of a soldier's shoes. 

According to the Arlington National Cemetery website, "The Tomb Guard marches 21 steps down the black mat behind the Tomb, turns, faces east for 21 seconds, turns and faces north for 21 seconds, then takes 21 steps down the mat and repeats the process. After the turn, the sentinel executes a sharp "shoulder-arms" movement to place the weapon on the shoulder closest to the visitors to signify that the sentinel stands between the Tomb and any possible threat. Twenty-one was chosen because it symbolizes the highest military honor that can be bestowed -- the 21-gun salute."

This soldier, a member of the Old Guard from the 3rd Infantry Regiment,  changes out on the hour in the wintertime.  Though we didn't get to witness the changing of the guard while we were at The Tomb (the 3 year olds could only be quiet for so long), this impressive display occurs during and after park hours, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  

So, today when you are snuggled up in your warm homes warring off the cold, a soldier will be on guard.  And tonight, when temps in D.C. are expected to only be near sub-zero temperatures, the guard will still change on the hour.  Nothing could be more honorable.

Hoppin' in to 2014

New Year's Day is a pretty important holiday in our house as it not only signifies a fresh start, but is also our wedding anniversary.  Graham and I are celebrating nine years!

After getting all gussied up last night for a fantastic New Year's Eve, one might conclude that today was a bit of a bore, but I'd say it was pretty nearly perfect.  Graham started a roaring fire this morning around 8 and we read books and relaxed there until near noon while the kids played amazingly well with each other downstairs.

 Henry and Maddox were the official "cookie nabbers" of the morning as they disguised themselves in various forms so that the real oatmeal cookie thieves would remain a mystery.  (Um, mystery solved).
Meanwhile, Harper changed into countless princess costumes and sang songs from the Frozen soundtrack, a movie she has yet to see but believes in her heart she is Anna, the Norwegian princess.  We stayed in our jammies until 3 o'clock and then finally ventured out for a walk in the woods at nearby Wilderness Battlefield where we stayed until dark.

Then it was home to make a New Year's Day dinner, the traditional southern Hoppin' John.  The main staple of the dish is black eyed peas, said to bring good luck and prosperity if eaten on New Year's Day.  The history of this interesting tradition dates back to the Civil War and can be found here.  Though the peas are somewhat of an aquired taste, I tweaked the Hoppin' John recipe based on what I had in the pantry and fridge, and the kids didn't even seem to mind.  In fact, they searched for peas in the dish after they determined that they indeed brought good luck.  

Hoppin' John (Crouch style)

1 box dirty rice

1 cup pancetta, diced

3 tbsp butter

1 cup chopped celery

1 cup chopped green pepper

1/2 cup chopped onion

4 garlic cloves, minced

2 cups black-eyed peas (I did from dried beans, but you could just buy a can too)

1.  Cook rice according to directions on box.  Heat pancetta in separate pan.

2.  Melt butter in large skillet on medium heat.  Add celery, pepper, onion, and garlic and saute until vegetables are tender (5-7 min).  Stir in rice, peas, and pancetta and saute a minute more.  Add hot sauce!  Enjoy!

So, if New Year's Day determines the direction of the year ahead, I'd say we are looking forward to a (slightly) more calm, relaxed, and favorable year.  And that's okay by me.  Happy 2014!