Girl, Boy, Girl: Notes to New Mamas

Now that I'm in my 30's, I'm spending less time attending weddings and more time meeting babies. This weekend, I was tickled to catch up with some dear college girlfriends and get to know the newest additions in their lives. As I watched these mamas with their little ones and listened to their shared experiences of sleepless nights, soiled clothes, and feeding mishaps, I was reminded of how much we need to lean on each other during the early years of motherhood. Flying back to Virginia last night, I wrote down a few survival strategies for those tough days:

Pray over your day. And do it in the morning. Even if you've only gotten three hours of sleep. Prayers are like spiritual caffeine and if I can turn the day over in the first hour of wakefulness, I can make it through. Pray for your children, pray for patience, pray to find encouragement through a friend, your husband, a book. Pray for grace and then remember to extend it to your children. From personal experience, I can tell you that praying in the mornings makes the "I've Messed Up" prayer easier to say in the afternoons. Open the dialogue and go for it.
Live fully in the moment. Even when the moment is jacked up. When the baby poops on your work clothes on your way out the door. When the six week-old cries for everyone else but you and you feel a little trapped. When big brother or sister wants your attention but can't fully have it Right. At. That. Moment. Try to remember that it passes so quickly and she won't just lie still in your arms again and stare at you for thirty minutes when she's 3. Embrace it now. Don't wish it away too soon. Psalm 31:7-8 says, "I will be glad and rejoice in your mercy, for you have considered my trouble. . . you have set my feet in a spacious place." When life with an infant is as off-balance as it gets, put your feet in that spacious place and be steadied.
Take time for yourself. When you are a nursing mama, it may be finding a two hour window for a dinner out with friends. That is taking time for yourself. When you've seen your husband everyday, but haven't connected for weeks, it may be a date. When you still have maternity clothes in your closet that HAVE GOT TO GO, it may be a day trip shopping for some great pieces that work beautifully on you. For me, time for myself was this weekend with friends in Kentucky. It was totally refreshing and snuggling with my babies this morning became even sweeter.
Celebrate each small step. One more hour of sleep at night. A pound lost. A dinner prepared. A day with no mama tears. Okay, okay, a day with only one or two mom cries. A birthday celebration for a lively toddler in the midst of it all. A dinner out with girlfriends. Every step is progress. Celebrate it and then encourage another mom who may be a few steps back. Because there is joy in the journey and a lot of light on the other side.