A Letter to my Daughters

It has been difficult for your father and I to hide the events of the last two weeks from you.  How could we?  It has hit too close to home.  We are beyond our comfort zone.  We see the news cameras.  We witness the search teams, canvassing the streets. Out of the corners of our eyes, we scan the woods on walking trails behind our neighborhood.  There is a missing girl. . . There are too many missing girls.  And so I want to tell you some things.  Some things your dad and I plan to talk about with you a lot in the coming years.  Some bits of advice that we want you to process and not just hear.  Because we believe it could save your life.

Maddox and Harper, choose friends who will love you well.  Those girlfriends who will be real with you.  Who will be honest.  Choose friends who won't let you out of their sight at a college party.  Who find it unacceptable for you to leave with a stranger.  Or by yourself.  Your mom had some amazing college friends.  They loved me on a Saturday night just as much as they loved me on a Tuesday morning.  They motivated me.  Challenged me.  Kept me company.  Protected me.  Choose friends who will find you when you're lost.  When you're alone.  Choose wisely, girls.  And then be the friend you should be too.

I want to tell you to use your head.  Your dad has served our country for over a decade, has deployed multiple times, has shot any number of guns and artillery.  But do you know what he says is the most effective weapon?  Little ladies, Daddy says your mind is your greatest defense.  Your mind can guide thoughts.  It can exercise judgement.  And yes, it can get you out of sticky situations.  So use your head.  Be in control of yourself at all times.  Abusing substances that will lessen the power of your greatest weapon is likened to not taking your ammunition with you in a battle.  Use your head and make the seemingly unavoidable, avoidable.

Sweet girls, remember that there is a lot of good in this world.  Do not be driven by fear.  Do not give in to chaos.  This week, we've heard about one bad person.  But for that one, there are thousands of good.  Like the men and women in the yellow vests, who crawl into Charlottesville City dumpsters, walk along railroad tracks, go down deep ravines.  Searching.  They, like your dad and I, may have daughters.  They may know a college student.  Or they may just want to help.  As a wise man once said, look for the helpers.  Girls, this world is a good place.  There is still hope here.  There is still good here.  There is still life here.  And God still reigns here.

Daddy and I love you,

Mommy