On Motherhood and Mud Pies

Like most mothers, I reflected a lot yesterday on what it means to be a mom. I thought about the "successes": The lessons that sank in. The boo-boo's kissed. The beautiful moments between mother and child. And I thought about how often I have flat-out messed it up: The distracted interactions. The cuddles cut short. The childhood I haven't always allowed them to experience because it was, well, messy. Only by grace did my children remember more good than bad on Mother's Day.

I woke up yesterday to cards and kisses and breakfast in bed, but just the day before that I woke up to buzzing insects, and muddy flip flops, and wet grass. Because this Mother's Day weekend, we went camping. Which is something that I believed would never happen. Ever. Seriously, never. But yet, here we were, loading up our car on Friday afternoon. The children yelping with excitement. My husband trying to find the rachet straps for the kayak. And me, grabbing a bottle of wine and hand sanitizer, both of equal importance. See, I'm not comfortable in–well–nature. I'll hike in the woods all day long, but tell me to stay out after the sun has set, and my attitude shifts slightly.

I need to stop here and say that my girlfriend took our camping trip to a whole new level. I've never slept in a tent before, but even I knew that a flowery bedspread and a throw pillows atop a queen-sized air mattress was special.

My friend Serrine calls it "glamping" and that, my friends, is what it is.

Was I afraid that my children were going to slip on the bank and float away in the James River? Uh-huh. Did we see a snake in the outhouse bathroom? Don't ask. Did we have to strip Harper down and wash her tush with a hose because she'd evidently been bathing in mud? Yes. Did we have a fabulous night eating brats and s'mores, looking at the stars, and sitting up late around the campfire sharing stories with our dear friends? You bet. Amid all my worry about ticks and mosquitoes and dew on the grass, I was reminded that for one day, my children were free to roam. Free to explore. To make mistakes. To shout without being shushed. To collect snail shells and dig in mud. To have all my attention without interruption.

So I'm going to try to allow more this year: More risks. More messes. More impulsive adventures. Because I want us to build memories out of sticks, and dirt, and pails, and clams. And then, let's all take a bath.

Pressing Forward, Going Back

It's hard to believe that it's been a year since two Virginia girls hopped a plane going south. A country close to the equator became a place even closer to our hearts. We celebrated our day of national independence last summer alongside people completely dependent on God for their daily bread. While my children enjoyed American Girl dolls, toy trains, and iPads, we handed out crayons and coloring sheets to children who saw them as incredible gifts and hid them beneath tee shirts and shorts so no one could take away their treasures.

Since those hot equator days in July, so much has changed. Our family has moved. I have started a new job. My children are in different schools. We've changed churches. We are pressing forward. . . but I am going back. Back to Honduras. Back to the country whose people live on so little but are likely more content than the majority of Americans. Back to the place where a toy from the dollar store brings immense joy. Back to the place where a woman with a sewing machine can change her future. Back to where the team at Sparrow Missions brings hope and the good news of Jesus to men at a rehabilitation facility, anxious parents at a hospital, and children in the slums of Los Bordos.

This July 5th, I'll be jumping on a plane going south again. (My friend Meg will be going with a team from Orange a few weeks later.) As before, I will be having my semi-annual clothing sale THIS Saturday morning to raise money for my trip. Follow me on Instagram @mollycrouch to purchase a treat for your spring wardrobe (lots of children's wear too!). Or make a tax-deductible donation towards my trip by going to www.sparrowmissions.com/give and put my name in the comment box.

In a world where we're told to press forward, I can't wait to go back.

Finding the Marvelous

Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous. -Bill Moyer

While another six inches of snow fell this week, it was so easy to grumble. So easy to open wide the mouth and complain:

It's March for heaven's sake! 

We've had enough snow! 

The weather canceled our plans again. 

And on and on and on. But then I took a look around and saw my children playing together in the upstairs guest room, my daughter finishing an oil painting, my husband relaxing with the newspaper, the whole family acting out the book, When Robin Saved Spring, and I realized how precious these moments are, and how final. Because when the weather warms next week and the snow melts, the children will go outside. They'll play with their friends in the neighborhood. They'll ride their bikes. They'll start spring activities. They'll finish another year of school. Our lives will get busier. There won't be mundane weekends, because weekends will be full. So, today, I choose to give thanks for winter, for the slower pace it offers and the marvel it brings.

Think Warm Thoughts

Even before the first snowfall last week, my college roommate, Amy, and I were already talking about a weekend getaway this spring. We took our first annual "Roomie" trip in 2014, meeting up for a weekend at the Greenbrier last February. As wonderful and pampering as that was, Amy and I thought we needed more warmth this year than the mountains in West Virginia could provide. After lots of conversations, we landed on Wilmington, NC—an easy drive for me and a location far enough south to enjoy the beach in early May.

In hopes for a day on the sand—and to ward off the winter blues—I spent a few hours yesterday looking for a new bathing suit for our trip. I learned quickly that some of my go-to swimwear companies and stores of my 20's (Target, Victoria's Secret, Roxy) are no longer viable options in my 30's. Let's be real, I've had three children—two of them at once—and things have. . . shifted. After a few hours of online searching (the only way to shop for swimwear in my opinion), I walked away with two suits and a few rules for us 30-somethings.

1. Take calculated risks

There is no sense showing it all only to be self-conscious and miserable. There is also little sense in completely covering up! Just remember that the body you perceive to be flawed at 30-something, will be the body you are coveting at 50-something! As mamas, these stretch marks and new curves speak to the lives we've carried. That's something to celebrate. The key is finding the swimwear to help you do it.

 This sassy red number from JCrew gives great coverage in the tummy and back, yet accentuates the bust. Love that it's lined too.

 Another JCrew number, I am always a fan of strapless in the summertime and like the colorblock print. And the cutout sides make this suit look like a bikini from the back while allowing for coverage in the front.

I am in love with the longline bikini tops this year. I have a large rib cage making bikini tops look less flattering on me, but the longline like this from Anthropologie solves the problem and gives a little more coverage.

2. Try something new

 The pin-up look is definitely back and even Taylor Swift is getting in on the action. I love the idea of a high-waist bottom IF it has something else going on (piping, ruching, etc). Otherwise, what seems like a great option to hide any tummy issues will end up accentuating them.

 Each of the suits above were found on Etsy. Aren't they adorable?!

I LOVE this option as a variation from the tired-out tankini look. This peplum number is from Anthropologie and can be worn with or without the straps.

3. Go for color

The tendency is to wear dark swimwear colors, but I challenge you to go for color! Just be careful that your choice don't scream "teenager." Try a bright tribal print, check out sophisticated looks from designers like Trina Turk, or opt for a beautiful bright solid.

I have this maillot from JCrew in gray, but would order it in green if I could do it over again.

4. Don't give in to trends.

Just a few final words that may help you make some buying decisions, 30-somethings. Take them or leave them!

 I have outgrown the flounce tops, friends, since this reminds me of a bib I would put on a 6-month-old.

 

Many a swimsuit designer would like you to believe that you too can wear the strappy-side bikini bottom. But unless those hips have seen a gym every day for the last six months, your skin will only want to squeeze through those ladder lines and find the light of day. Not the look you want.

Hope this is helpful. Stay warm, friends! Happy swimsuit shopping!

Bonus

Sometimes life throws you a curveball and sometimes it hands you a bonus.

Military deployments? Curveball. Reunion vacations? Bonus.

Job loss? Curveball. New opportunities? Bonus.

Moving far away from friends and family? Curveball. Meeting people you can't imagine life without? Bonus.

When I really put some thought into it, I've been given a lot of bonuses. Bet you have too. One of those whom I think about today is my sister-in-law, Erin. Today is Erin's birthday. And that girl is a gift to so many. But there were more than a few curveballs that made it possible for her to be in her brother's life, and therefore, in mine. A series of events, some of which are tragic, brought two little families together and enlarged an extended family to weave a common thread of love. Were there curveballs? A few. Bonuses? Too many to count.

Today's birthday girl and I lived nearby for several years and were able to see each other often. Our kids are close in age. We've shared stories of motherhood and toddlerhood, joys and hardships, shenanigans and serious stuff.

In one of life's biggest curveballs—the loss of a pregnancy—she was there. She stayed with Maddox one clear January morning while Graham and I went to the hospital to do the hard work of saying goodbye to a baby. When we came home late that night, tired and emotionally drained, her love was big. And in one of life's most extravagant bonuses just weeks later—the news of Henry and Harper—she was there. When it was time to find out the twins' gender, Erin went with me to the doctor's appointment because her brother—my husband—was in Afghanistan. Her calming presence was a gift I don't think she fully understood.

On this, her birthday, I hope my sister knows how much she is loved. By her parents, her siblings, and her friends. I hope she realizes how wonderful Chris and the boys think she is—how influential and important she is to them. And in this life full of curveballs, I hope she understands what a bonus she is to her brother and me.

We love you, E!

Funny Face

A few weeks ago, I began noticing a strange bottle on my husband's bathroom sink. It was my matte finishing spray—something I bought a few months before on a whim. As a girl who gets the 12 o'clock shine, I needed something to keep the oil off my face so my makeup would last longer. This matte spray from Ulta is supposed to do the trick and I will say that it does have good results when I remember to use it. Which is rare.

So imagine my surprise when I began seeing it on Graham's sink. When I questioned him about it last week, the conversation went something like this:

M- Why is my matte finishing spray on your sink every morning?

G- I've been using it.

M- You have?

G- Yeah.

M- What have you been doing with it?

G- Putting it in my hair.

Huh. His hair. As a hairspray. I'm guessing it didn't have the intended effect. When I explained it was a facial product, he looked at me like I had two heads.

G- You spray your face?

You know, he has a point. Anyway, as long as we're talking makeup today, here are a few other things I bought at Ulta recently and really love. As in, I use them everyday.

Love, love, love this Tarte foundation in the wintertime. It is full coverage, but not cakey.

My sis-in-law introduced me to Too Faced bronzer. This one is called Sun Bunny, but I also like Snow Bunny which is just a little lighter and more shimmery for the winter.

Also from Too Faced, this eye shadow palette is a perfect collection of colors. Disclaimer: The names of the shadows may provide a natural blush!  I also love the Too Faced Chocolate Bar eye palette. A decadent Valentine's treat minus the fat and calories. Wink.

` 

Happy Saturday, y'all!

Call It Even

My parents visited us in Virginia this Christmas. True to form, Mom baked with the grandkids and Dad did fix-it projects around the house. By the time they left yesterday, we had new caulking in all of our bathrooms, a house number drilled above our garage, and a downstairs toilet that filled much more quickly after flushing. Graham and I are not fixer-uppers, but my dad sure is.

For years, I've watched other couples refinish their bathrooms, add a deck onto their homes, rewire lights in their kitchens. And I've lamented that those things are not true of our household. When we have a problem with the plumbing, we join message boards and try to familiarize ourselves with new terminology like backwater valve and refill tube. Once, Graham tried to fix a leaky toilet by installing a new toilet kit. Six hours later, we put a bucket under the commode and called a plumber. The first time we lost heat in our home in Orange, I was sure it was a furnace problem, until our pastor came over, measured the oil in the tank, and pronounced it empty. This stuff is just not intuitive for us.

But then, a few days ago, our computer wouldn't start. A gray screen appeared with the infamous apple icon, and then went black. Without warning, our computer had crashed and I had no back-up for my documents and pictures. But instead of freaking out by this internal operating error, my husband calmly went to Best Buy and bought an external hard drive, then proceeded to transfer our entire operating system onto the drive, "clean" the existing computer, and reinstall all the apps and programs. Wait. What? You see, all the years that I had been slightly embittered over a husband that couldn't build me a kitchen table were years that I forgot to recognize the amazing gifts and talents that he does possess.

This man that I've been married to for a decade this January 1st works hard and provides, loves our kids well, does incredibly kind things for me, and evidently is a computer genius in his spare time.

So, the next time I read a post on Instagram announcing that a friend's husband built her a bench out of 150-year-old salvaged barn wood to go in their front entryway, I'll remember that mine fixed a crashed computer that held our most precious memories, and we'll call it even.